I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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