No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
