My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
