At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I smell stomach acid.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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