you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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