it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
