Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it was like eating out sand paper
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
