So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
