I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
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He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
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Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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