Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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