I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
