I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
tell me about the fingering
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