I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
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I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
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Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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