I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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