Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
