She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
