I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
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