Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You are the jesus of drinking
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
