I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
