I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize