I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
