Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize