I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
