I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
