I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
