You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
