therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
