Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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