You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
