He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
