I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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