After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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