Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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