summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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