He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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