Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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