You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
