I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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