Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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