That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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