Yo dont text me then not text me
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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