I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
