Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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