I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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