I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
