I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
