can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We are all done wearing pants today
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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