Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
