But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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