you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
