the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i think im in europe. pls send help
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