One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
