News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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