Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
