Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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