I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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