goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
