My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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