His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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