I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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